Alpha
by Wolf31
Summary: Xander never lost the Hyena Spirit. (Lanuage and Violence)
1. Prolog

Time: 3rd - 5th Season AU. Pairing: X/F Rating: R (Swearing and some violence) AN: I am doing a 'what if' the hyena was never cast out of Xander but he was giving abilities to control the hyena and accept it in to his soul. This is taking place after the 3rd season. Cordellia and Xander never got together. Angelus lost his soul and was killed by Xander. Xander goes by Lex now. Lex was cast out of the group during the 3rd season but more due to the growing uncomfortable ness of the group with him around. He was able to stop Faiths fall to the darkness and they have paired up and started dating during his senior year. They leave together and come back a few years later to help out with Glory. In the two years he has been gone the Scoobys and him have not talked at all.  
  
Alpha  
  
"What are you thinking boytoy?"  
  
"I don't want to go back but they need a help and I couldn't turn down my Willow or my second favorite Slayer, now could I?"  
  
"Dam straight she is under me. And don't even say it, I shouldn't have to hurt you this early in the morning."  
  
"You take all the fun out of my day."  
  
"Here is what we do take me now before we leave and I can promise you will have a much better day."  
  
"This is an offer I can get behind. I think I just might take you on that offer," as he finishes he pounces on Faith and growls in her ear as he kiss down her jaw line and neck.  
  
A few hours later, "What's got you so wound up? That was some intense time even for you."  
  
"Just needed to release some steam and since you are the best release I could ever have I wanted it to be all you. If you didn't like I could do less with you and find myself a beta female for my releases" Lex says with a slight smirk.  
  
"You do and you wake up with it removed and in a glass by the alarm clock," was Faith's reply as she stands and heads for a shower.  
  
"Gotcha just you and it stays attached. Such a simple idea and won't even dream of anyone but you. I will be with you in a minute. I am going to call Willow and give them an ETA for us. I think we should be there in a week."  
  
"Good thinking. I am all that you could handle. Week sounds good. A couple of stops along the way to clear out some trouble spots and we are golden."  
  
After the call is made and the shower taken they get in to their 4x4 truck and head west to Cali for fun, sun, and Hellmouth. They arrived to find out that Joyce died of a brain tumor and Buffy has gone of into the desert on some soul searching trip.  
  
"I am sorry to hear about Joyce, she was a mom that any of us wish we had," Lex said as he hugged Dawn.  
  
"I am sorry about it also Dawn. Joyce was always great to me when she took me in after I got to SunnyDale."  
  
"I am just glad to have you guys back. We should be able to take out Glory with the new help. The Scoobys ride again right Lex."  
  
"You know it Dawn. So where are Willow and the rest?" Lex enquires as he looks around. "I can smell that they were here but someone new is in the group. Willow is no longer with Oz is she?"  
  
Dawn just stares at him. Not sure what he is able to tell with his nose she replies "Yeah those two broke up first year of college. I wasn't told much about it but it seems Oz was cheating on her and got caught. He left and came back but by then she was already moved on and not looking to take him back. They left on good terms and she is happy with the new one. Her name is Tara."  
  
"Her name is Tara. Tara. Her name is Tara. Not his name is shorten to Tara but this girl Tara is dating this other girl Willow that I have know since kindergarten and are in a relationship together. My Willow is dating a girl not a boy. At some point I will come to term with this but with your mom's death and the current big bad I think I will have to get back to her name is Tara and is dating Willow. Man you leave for a couple years and everything changes. Buffy is still dating guys right? Please tell me she is. Lie to me if you have to."  
  
"Yes Lex she does. Right now there isn't anybody but I think she is hiding something from me. I am not sure but when I come into rooms she gets quite very quickly and seems to always be talking to Spike about what to do next. And her track record with vampires isn't to inspiring to take that many different ways."  
  
"Spike is around. 'Mister happy meals on legs' is hanging around Buffy and she isn't dusting him why?"  
  
"He has this chip in his head that won't allow him to hurt living creatures. He is able to hurt demons and such so he fights with us. There isn't much trust between the group and him but Buffy doesn't stake him for that reason."  
  
Lex just stares at Dawn and Faith for a moment, "Okay first thing after Glory Spike is dust. Help or not he is dead. I am not letting another vampire with a cross to bear continue with this group. It happened once with Angel and we know how well that turned out. It is not getting to that point if I have anything to say about it. Are you with me on this Faith?"  
  
"Sure boytoy you know I like to ruffle feathers while I am here but remember when happened after the Angelus disaster that has kept you away from this town for a couple years."  
  
"I know Faith but if it happens again at least it will be after the fact of no more Spike then letting him continue around to see what trouble he causes later. Well Faith and I are getting a hotel room for the night. I will call later with the info. Give it to Buffy when she gets in. Faith and I will patrol the next couple of nights. I will drop by Willie's tonight and see what I can scare up. Let's go Faith."  
  
"Right behind you enjoying the view as always." Faith says with a smirk.  
  
Lex just grumbles and leaves with Faith and a laughing Dawn closing the door. "And it is still a great view. Some days I wish I was Faith."  
  
Later that night while they are patrolling they hear grunts and screams from Buffy and run towards it to help her out. She must have gotten back and since they were out patrolling she went out also to meet up with them. They come around a group of tress to see Buffy with her skirt hiked up riding Spike while he is laying on the ground.  
  
"Keep going Slayer I got what you want. And I will be giving in to you all night every night. You will come to me begging for it. You can't go a day with out it. Me fucking you is the only thing that can keep you going now. Remember that Slayer. You are mine. You do what I say and to my enjoyment," he groans as Buffy rocks while she is riding him, "Yeah that's it Buffy. Keep it up and get your reward."  
  
"I am going to kill him right now and then I am going to hurt Buffy. Then after she heals I am going to hurt her again. What is going through her mind? What kind of fuck up could she be having to be doing him in a cemetery so soon after her mother's death. Faith I want you to run and tackle Buffy off of Spike while I go in for the kill okay."  
  
"Sorry Lex but that isn't Buffy. Not sure what but that is not the real Buffy. It looks close. Probably identical but that is not a Slayer riding him. I am not getting that Buffy is around feeling from my senses. If it was a vampire I would be getting a buzz from her but only Spike is giving off a buzz. And it looks like a very good time to something." They hear Spike howls as he cums. "Well he is done lets go down there figure out what she is then kill them both."  
  
"Better idea lets just kill them both and never speak of it again."  
  
Spike and the fake Buffy start getting up and brushing off their clothes as Faith and Lex move towards them.  
  
"Spikey poo."  
  
"Yes love."  
  
"The whelp and Faith are running towards us." Buffy says.  
  
Spike just opens his eyes wide with shook and turns in time to see Lex barrel in to him and take him to the ground. As he lifts a stake Spike tries to talk himself out of getting dusted. "Lex it isn't what it looks like. That isn't the real Buffy just a robot I had made. I have been trying to get into her panties for weeks but she wasn't going to be interested. So I had a sex bot made so I could do what I want and no longer be chasing her."  
  
"You know Spike that is probably something I going to have to kill you for if you ever come back for this." He growls at Spike. He is about to plunge the stake in to his heart when the Buffybot kicks him off of Spike.  
  
"No one hurts my Spikey. Stay away from him before I hurt you whelp."  
  
Spike looks around and see Faith curled up holding her stomach. Buffybot must have punched her really heard to get free. He turns to Lex to see him turn to Faith and back to the bot. His eyes flash amber as he rushes forward and viciously attacks the bot. Spike not sure which one will win right now but runs off in hopes they wont kill him later. Lex is being beaten quite badly but he will not stay down. He rips out a metal bar from a fence he was knocked in to and takes the head of the bot clean off its shoulders. The bot falls and he rushes towards Faith.  
  
"Baby you okay. Come on Faith I got you. It will be okay," he picks her up and heads of to the hospital to get her taken care of. When he sees Spike next there is going to be retribution. No one hurts his mate and lives or un-lives another day.  
  
He called the Summer's house to tell them what happened and what was going on with Faith. The doctors were just finishing up on checking her out and they will be heading back to hotel for the night. Tomorrow everyone is to meet at the Magic Box. Buffy called and said she was heading back and would be in later in the night. Faith walks out of the exam room with a stunned look on her face.  
  
Lex runs up to her, "Baby you okay. Should you be walking around right now? Do we need to get anything? Baby you with me here?"  
  
Faith just shakes her head like just waking up from a trance and looks at Lex, "No I am okay. Just need some rest and try not to get beaten up to much so I don't have to return," was all she said back to him as she latched on to his arm and started walking out of the ER.  
  
Lex can tell something is bothering her but he is unsure of what to do. He just holds her arm as they walk back to the hotel and the bed that is calling them.  
  
The next day at the Magic Box everyone discusses what they have learned about Glory, the current situation with Spike, and patrol schedules for the next few weeks. All the time Buffy keeps staring towards Faith as she looks back between the rest of the gang.  
  
"Buffy is this alright with you? Buffy? Buffy are you listening?"  
  
"What oh the patrols will work out fine. Dawn is protected at all times and we check in every hour to make sure everything is running good. So not a problem, Faith can we talk in the back room for a few minutes, Slayer to Slayer."  
  
"Sure B lead the way." She looks to Lex and shrugs her shoulders.  
  
"We will be right back." They walk off to the back room and close the door. "So care to tell me what the strange feeling I am getting from you is?"  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about?" Faith replies as she tries to get some distant from Buffy.  
  
"Please Faith. I am not trying to hurt you. I am not trying to hurt Lex either. I just would like to know what it is so I don't have to think about it while you are standing around me. I need you here so I need to know what has happened to you if it might happen to me. I can't have your help if you might put us in danger."  
  
"Don't worry B when I am fighting by your side I will not be risking anyone's but mind and its life," as she says the words she wraps her arm around her stomach to protect it.  
  
Buffy's eyes open wide in shook, "Oh my god you are pregnant," she squeals as she jumps towards Faith to bring her into a big hug. "How is Lex taking it?"  
  
"He doesn't know and he won't find out till after it is over. He might try and pull me out of this and I am needed her. Please don't tell him. He has enough to worry about with you and Dawn. Trust me." Faith pleads with Buffy.  
  
"For now okay. But we get into a last ditch effort with Glory I will tell him if you don't. He has to know. I don't know if we are all coming back from this fight. I want to see us all gather around that table again after it is all over. I want to talk with Lex and see about getting him to stay here with us. I want the both of you here with us. You guys are family and since you have been gone the family has not been complete. We have a long summer to do together and I have a niece or nephew coming along in what 7-8 months. I want to see him/her and spoil it with gifts. So for now your secret is safe with me."  
  
The Slayers hug and talk about the baby to be a little bit then head out to the rest of the group. They are met with curious eyes but with the smiles on the Slayer's the eyes give off their own happiness as the group comes back together and gets ready for the night.  
  
The next week isn't the greatest. A few run in with Glory and the rescue of the captive and tortured Spike. Xander also gives a few marks himself for what the bot did to Faith.  
  
"If anything you ever do cause Faith pain I will kill you so painfully and drown out after a week you will be looking for a tooth pick to drive in your own heart just to make it stop. We understand each other?" Lex yells as he punches Spike over and over.  
  
"Yes I understand," is all Spike is able to make out through split lips and swollen eyes.  
  
"Good, remember Spike I am just waiting for a reason," with that Lex walks off to find Faith and go back to the hotel.  
  
It was when Glory did her mind drain on Tara that the truth about Dawn was found out and they are sent running. They run in to an order of knights that has been preventing Glory from finding the key for hundreds of years. They hope to destroy the key before it can be used. They are trapped in a deserted gas station where they try and make a stand against the knights. But when the dark times come and you can almost see the light of a new day the worst thing happened. Glory arrived and not only slaughters the knights but took Dawn and Faith hostage. Lex wakes up and gathers the rest of them around. They make they way back to SunnyDale and their finally stand against Glory.  
  
"Lex I need to talk to you for a moment," Buffy urgently told him.  
  
"Okay Buf say it quick. We are taking that bitch down and getting Dawn and Faith back soon."  
  
She looks at him with a bit of hesitation and questioning look, "Lex I am not sure how to say this so I will just say it. Faith is pregnant and is probably a month along by now. She was going to tell you after this but I told her if it got don't to a last stand if she didn't tell you I would. I am sorry to keep it from you but when we get them back we can all be a family again. We can all be a part of each others life. Lex you are going to be a father and we are going to be a big happy family. Are you okay with this?"  
  
Lex for his part didn't faint with what he was told, "I am going to be a father. Faith is going to be a mother of my child. Oh my god we have to get them. I can't lose her now. A family Buffy, we are going to be a family better then what we grow up with."  
  
"There you go Lex. Let's put this bitch down and get them back."  
  
The groups followed Tara as she went to the tower that was being built for the ceremony. The battle was going good. Willow, the Buffybot, and Buffy were going against Glory and were putting her through the ringer. Lex was able to locate Faith and sent her up the tower to get Dawn out of there. He followed up shortly after when Willow cleared his path and told him that someone was up there with Faith and Dawn. When Lex arrived at the top of the tower he saw as Faith was stabbed in the heart. She held this shocked look on her face. She turned towards Lex and tried to smile. To say it was all right. She grabbed Doc with the last of her strength and pulled him off the tower. They fell to the ground together.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" The heart wrenching scream came from Lex. Dawn would have covered her ears but was bound and couldn't. Lex freed her and together they race down the tower. He saw Faith just lying on a pile of debris. The knife was lying next to Doc it fell out of his hand after impact. He picked it up and headed towards Glory with one thought. He would kill her and not die till it was done. The time had past and Glory was growing weaker and weaker. She had already taken out the robot and the witch was drained from spell casting. A battered and bruised Slayer was all that was left. She would make short work of her and leave. Come back after her wounds have healed and get her key again. It was the stabbing feeling in her back that surprised her the most. She turned around to find a pair of brown eyes radiating some much hate and anger that she took a step back. Those angry pools of brown shift to amber and attacked. She wasn't able to keep up with the blows that kept landing. She tried to push him off but he wouldn't relent from the attack. Suddenly she felt stabbing pain in her stomachs to see the knife was sticking out of it. Lex then pulled the knife out and plunged it again. The knife came down again and again.  
  
"Just fucking die you bitch. You hear me. DIE!!!!!!" Lex screamed as he assaulted her.  
  
Buffy took a step back. She had never seen him like this before. The laughable huggable Xander that had always been by her side till she pushed him away in favor of a cold vampire, the warmth he could give her in just a simple hug warmed her soul more then anyone else ever could. He was attacking Glory like a wild animal. There was no kindness or mercy shown. Glory would not walk away from this. And as the battle came to the bloody end. There was so much blood on Lex. None of it was his. Glory had basically been cut open from belly to neck. The knife was embedded in heart and Lex finally came around her had snapped her neck. She fell lifeless to the ground. Lex just stared down at her and turned to walk back to Dawn. A trail of blood from the battle site followed Lex. The group stared in shocked horror as he walked back to Dawn. They were a little scared of what he might do next. It was when they noticed that Dawn was holding on to a body that was lying on the ground and crying that the fears came more of what Lex might do to himself next more then any of them. They all hurried over to where Dawn was sitting on the ground. Lex made his way over and picked up Faith. He started to walk off to the hospital to drop of the body. She was going to be buried properly and so was his child. His mate and his child were dead and he felt just the same.  
  
"Xander, please talk to me." A meek voice from Willow came out.  
  
He stopped his walk. He turned around with closed eyes. He opened them to revel bright almost glowing amber eyes, "Xander or Lex no longer functions here. His lost was too much for him. I am the Alpha. I am what is left. After my mate and cub are buried I am leaving. I suggest you don't follow me or try and track me. When we recover from our losses we might return. Head my warnings. To not do so will be considered an attack and you don't want me in a fight. Before I go Buffy I am sorry for my behavior in the classroom. I though you would have been a perfect mate. I was wrong and what I did was wrong. Willow I need to apologies to you also. I shouldn't have attack you. To Xander you are pack. You would be his equal and he would have protected you to the bitter end. We most go and grieve our loss. Do the same. For now treat us like the dead. Grieve for the loss but look to a brighter future together." Alpha then turned and walked off as the sun started to rise. They saved the world but the cost this time around was steep. They looked to the future and hope that Xander would return until then it is time to live. 


	2. Empty 1 of 3

Timeline: 6th Season AU Rating:R (swearing and violence) Paring: None at the moment Summary: 1st Full Story of the Alpha series Xander has lost Faith and his unborn child. This are the stories of his lose and his return.  
  
Empty  
Chapter 1  
  
It is a beautiful day out with the sun shinning. Xander is sitting in a hammock in the back yard. A four year old browned hair girl is running around playing in the garden. His wife is bringing out food to grill outside and enjoy a late lunch.  
  
"You almost done Faith? I need to get started on the food so when Willow, Buffy, and Dawn get her we can eat. You know Slayers like to be fed on time or they get antsy."  
  
"Keep it up X and we will see what you will be eating tonight for desert."  
  
"Only if you say so Faith."  
  
As Faith walks through the screen door the little girl runs to her. "Mommy," she squeals as she latches on to her leg. This cause Faith to have to walk with a limp as the child will not let go. Xander falls out of the hammock laughing at the site as Faith just stares at him.  
  
"Laugh it up Xan. Your desert can be canceled faster then you can eat a Twinkie," Faith comments with a smirk.  
  
"I am sorry Baby you know I love you and I need my desert or I don't know what I will do. In fact maybe we can get Willow to take the little one and enjoy some desert earlier then tonight."  
  
"I want Ice Cream to," came a little voice, "You said I can have desert after lunch and I will get some."  
  
"Yeah you are your mother's daughter right Faith," Xander says as he picks her up and gives her a kiss on her cheek. "Faith, Faith were did you go?" Xander starts looking around for her but she isn't anywhere near him. He looks to his daughter and she is no longer in his arms. "What is going on? Baby where are you? "As Xander looks around for his wife and daughter the world around them starts to fade away. Soon he is alone in the darkness.  
  
"They aren't here Xander."  
  
"Who are you and what have you done to them. When I get my hands on you you're going to wish for a quick death."  
  
"I have done nothing to them. Glory did, or at least her follower did. You remember the tower, the stab wound, the fall, and seeing her lifeless body on the debris. Dawn crying over her while you picked up the knife and killed Glory. You know this happened why are you fighting it. She is dead and you need to get back to the living. I can't maintain this forever. I was not meant to. You have the power to live." During Alpha's speech he walks out of the darkness and stands in front of Xander. They are virtually identical. It is the feral amber eyes of Alpha that sets him apart from Xander.  
  
"No you are wrong. She was just here with me and our daughter. Buffy and Willow are going to swing by and have lunch."  
  
"I am sorry Xander but this is a dream, or maybe a nightmare. She died and you are still alive. You have to stop denying it and move on. If you don't you will also be dead. I can't sustain this existence. In a month maybe two I will no longer have power to do so. You either accept this like you have me or we die a life that would shame our mate. I know my mate would never want me to be like this. Nor would I want this of her if I was to die. It is the fact we die that makes the lives together and families we build so important. Remember Xander we can mourn her passing as well as our cub but you have to get back to living. What do you say?"  
  
"You can go rot. I will be here with my wife and my daughter. They live here and so will I." Xander swings his arm at Alpha and at the moment it connects he wakes up.  
  
"Well he at least listened to the speech fully this time. Soon Xander, soon you will either live or we both die. Unfortunately I don't think my mate is going to please to see us this soon. Next time Xander. I will definitely mention it next time." Alpha then stands up heads to the shower to get ready for a new day. Some little town in Kansas has a rising death toll and he is going to kill what ever it is. Without Xander at the helm the hunt is all he can do. "Next time Xander we are going to have a long talk about our mate." 


	3. Empty 2 of 3

Chapter 2  
  
Alpha walks down the dark street looking and hunting. Trying to find what ever evil beastie is loose in this town. A small scream came from an alley which he quickly heads down. Alpha runs towards the sounds of struggle to find a red scaled humanoid demon beating on two humans. "You have got to be kidding me. You are trying to take out two teeny boppers all by yourself and you still couldn't get it done. What ever you are seems to be very pathetic." The red demon looks at him while the two teenagers back away further into the corner and hope that helped arrived and not another monster. With Alpha's glowing amber eyes they are unsure of what he might do also. "Were do you want me to send your body. I just want your kind to know what happens when they attack humans on my watch."  
  
"You are human also so you mean nothing. After I dispatch you and will take these two back to the group to feed on. You are too old and passed the freshness age of humans." The demon says as he looks Alpha up and down.  
  
"Lets do it then. You are stopping me from getting some much needed sleep."  
  
Alpha jumps towards the demon and while in mid air takes a knife out from behind his back and holds it in his hand with the blade pointing down. The demon jumps back and also pulls a blade out of its arm. As Alpha lands and he readies to go on the defense to size up the opponent. The demon heads towards him with slices to his throat and chest. Alpha is able to block most but one gets by and slices in to his shoulder. He howls in pains. His eyes flash brightly for a moment and he proceeds to go on the offensive. His attacks come much faster and more are getting to demon. After a few minutes the demon has kicks and slices all over his chest and arms.  
  
"What are you? No human can do this. Only slayers can and you are not one of those pathetic pieces of flesh. Many of my clansmen have killed them thought the years. They are a week protector."  
  
"I was going to kill you but now you are going to suffer before you are dispatched." With a howl of rage alpha goes in for the attack. Faster then before his knife cuts in to the demon's flesh. Soon cuts are all over is upper torso, back, and a few on the face. "After your death I will hunt down more of your kind. I will slaughter hundreds for every slayer they ever killed. I just want you to now so you don't have to worry about being lonely in hell." He then shoves his knife deep in to the throat of the demon. The gray blood of the demon spills out around the blade and from its mouth. The demon falls back against a wall and slides down to the ground. You can almost see the life drain out of it. Alpha walks over to the demon and rips the knife out and wipes it on the creature's shoulders to get the blood off of it. "Well don't have to worry about this one anymore. You two can run home now and try to stay in lighted areas better. Also try to hang out in bigger groups." He turns around and starts to walk out of the alley to be tackled by a slip of a girl with a lot of power behind her. They roll for a bit and ended up with him on the bottom and a blue eyed red head on top of him.  
"What are you? I have been tracking that demon for three days. You just show up and kill him in less than ten minutes. Tell me quickly or I will kill you now. I am not letting any demons regardless of what they look like walking out of here."  
  
"Dam it Red can you Slayers just ask nicely instead of the whole tackle and threaten. Where is your watcher I am listing a formal complaint to him about you." With the last statement Alpha swung his arms out and shoved the girl off him. Quickly standing up waiting for her next attack. She just stayed laid out on the ground.  
  
"I don't have one. That bastard killed him a week ago. I have been catching up to him. I was going to get him tonight but you stepped in and took it away from me. He has been training me for a year now. I went active a couple weeks ago and really started making a killing in the demons in my area. They weren't ready for a Slayer to show up. Apparently the Slayer has been staying in California for years now. She stays protecting the Hellmouth my watcher would always tell me. If I was called I would be expected to head there as well to protect it and stop the demons from opening it. We were heading there from Ohio when the demon and his band attacked us. I kill four others but he got to my watcher and sliced his throat, then ran away while I tried to stop the bleeding. I couldn't stop it and he died. I tried to get help but at was late at night. I was able to call 911 and get EMTs out there but it was well past time. He was dead and I left hunting this demon." She sniffles a little as she tells this story. "I don't even know why I told you this much. I just hurt all over. I don't know what it is but I was hoping that the death of that demon would make it better. It isn't." She stands up and brushes her pants off. "Well I am going to head in. If you want to join me fine. I am leaving town tomorrow. With the slayer dead I needed to get to the Hellmouth before it goes to long with out protection."  
  
"Don't worry about the Hellmouth. A Slayer is there protecting it. You can go where ever you want. Help is needed all over. My name is Alpha and I am getting out of town and head north if you would like to travel with me. Since we are both hunting demons and aren't needed on the Hellmouth then why not hunt together. More protection in packs and the demons won't even know what hit them."  
  
"Alpha? What kind of name is that? How do you know about the slayer situation, how do you know there is a slayer there at all, and my name is Vicky."  
  
"Alpha is what I am. A slayer by the name of Buffy Summers has been on the Hellmouth for 5 years now. I know she is still alive."  
  
"How can she be alive if I am called. She has to die for me to be called. For someone that knows about Slayers and demons you seem to have forgotten an important note"  
  
Alpha moved towards her picking her up and slamming her into the ground. "I know that fact very well little girl. I have seen it three times already. Buffy, Kendra, and Faith have all died around me calling the next slayer. You are the fourth that I have met and if you make another comment about any pervious Slayers I will look for the fifth one to help her along. You understand me girl?" Alpha yells at her with his eyes glowing.  
  
Vicky just stares at him scared about what he can do to her. "Sssssure"  
  
Alpha lets go of her and starts to walk away from her. She jumps to her feet and watches him start to walk off. She quickly jogs up to him and while she is ready for another attack she notices that he seems to be almost in a trance walking along. "Alpha you still with me? I am sorry about the Slayer comment. Knowing that I might only live a few years after being called makes me try not to take too seriously. So how come there are at least two slayers now?"  
  
Alpha just turns his head to her. "Here is what we are going to do. You want the answers come back to my hotel for the night, before you get in to some idea about being picked up I am already mated and not looking for anything. I don't want to talk about it here and I need to bandage up my cuts."  
  
"Mated, god were you raised by wolves?"  
  
"Hyenas."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hyenas. I am part hyena. Not wolf. Remember that. I do not like being called or compared to a wolf. I am Alpha of the Hyena. My clan is gone and I am all that is left."  
  
"Okay. Hyena like from the Lion King with all the drooling and stuff. Why don't you want to be compared to a wolf? They have such a better image going."  
  
"Not like that. Hyenas are very good hunters and only scavenge when hunting is not at a peak time. They also have stronger jaws and are more vicious then wolves. Trust me Hyenas are the better dog."  
  
"Fine, so you turn in to some werehyena when the moon is full or something."  
  
"Do you even read books or are you trying my patients for a reason. I do not turn in to anything. I am not a werehyena. I am a human that have been gifted with the Hyena spirit and it makes me strong, faster, and with better senses. Man Red you can be very annoying."  
  
"So that explains the eye thing. Those are creepy by the way. How can you so called mate get with you when you have eyes like that?" After she said it the air around her seemed to be colder as if winter was starting to set in not the start of summer.  
  
"She is dead. She died a couple of weeks ago and my eyes don't always look like this. Only when Xander draws very heavily on the spirit do they change color."  
  
"So your name is Xander. Why do you go by Alpha? Xander is not that bad of a name."  
  
"I am Alpha. This body is Xander's but he hasn't recovered from the lose of our mate. She was very special to us and I am here trying to help him. Hopefully soon."  
  
"Okay you can tell me the rest at the hotel room. I am sorry for your lose. I know what it is like even if the feelings for the ones that we have loses are different."  
  
"Thank you. It is around the corner and up the street a little. We can talk about everything there." For the rest of the walk was in silence. Vicky was getting her questions ready while Alpha just enjoyed the presence of another hunter. Even if it has only been a few weeks it has been a long time since he has felt alone. 


	4. Empty 3 of 3

Chapter 3  
  
When they get back to the hotel Vicky goes to sit on the bed while Alpha heads into the bathroom to get the first aid kit he has placed there. He opens it and grabs the gauze and alcohol. He heads back in to the other room and starts to remove his shirt. With his shirt off he starts to use some of the gauze and alcohol to clean the cuts on his chest.  
  
"So what do you want to know?" he asks between slight hisses of when the alcohol hits an open wound.  
  
"How long have you been fighting? How did you know all those slayers? How did your mate die? When are you going to be Xander again?"  
  
"Good questions. He has been doing this just about 5 years now. He started his sophomore year in high school. Which is located directly above the Hellmouth by the way. His best friend was turned close to the starting of the new year and he staked him. After that he has been fighting. In his first year he was possessed by a Hyena spirit. While he was possessed he was as strong as a slayer with a few extras. He chose to keep me if he had full control and I would help out when necessary. I agreed. After seeing in to his mind and seeing what the hunt of demons and vampires was all about I knew it offered the best challenge I have seen in centuries. So that is how he started and I joined."  
  
"Why do you say he when it is you?"  
  
"I was not apart of this fight till later in his starting year. I am not Xander just a part of him. And when he coupes with the death of our mate then he will be back in control and you will not see this side often. I am just helping you to understand that right now there are two different people in this body. The original, Xander, and an ancient spirit, the Hyena, that has become a part of him but remains just as separate as he does. "  
  
"Okay that kind of makes since. Why do you say his and yours but always say our mate. Wouldn't that make her his since he is the one in charge."  
  
"She accepted both of us into her life. She knew and understood the differences between us and loved both sides. We are a coin. Right now you got tails but soon the flip will go to heads and all will be right."  
  
"Why do you say it that way? Right now you have full control. You can do what you want and live your life the way you feel fit. He can't deal fine. Reverse the acceptation. Make him apart of you and stay they way you are."  
  
"A question for another time Red. Trust me maybe if I could I would but right now I don't want to try," as he finishes the statement he is done wrapping his cuts and puts the alcohol down on the end table. He stands up and gets a different shirt to wear. "Now in his first year a girl name Buffy Summers, who was the current Slayer, started at SunnyDale High School after transferring from L.A. He saw her start the walk up to path to school and fell in love with her. She was beautiful. Unfortunately he was skateboarding at the time and went right into a railing. Not one of his better moments. He found about whom she is and what she is. We asked her out on a date and she turned us down. Later in the week they found out she was prophesied to die by the Master's hand. The Master was a very old vampire that was trapped in-between worlds after a failed attempt to open the Hellmouth. We couldn't have that now could we? There was a guy name Angle that had been helping with the fighting. We found him and convinced him to go down with me to the Master's cave and save her. We were too late she was dead face down in a pool of water. We pulled her out of the water and started doing CPR in hope that is was drowning and not blood lose. She was brought back. Since she did die the next slayer was called. But with Buffy back she went up against the Master again and killed him. The next year a girl called Kendra showed up in SunnyDale claming to be the Slayer and that her watcher told her of a dark evil coming to SunnyDale. That dark evil was a pair of vampire called Spike and Drusilla. They caused some problems and were about to suck the Earth into Hell. The group of Buffy, Kendra, Angle, and I were able to stop them. Kendra died in that battle along with Angle." Alpha's eyes start to get a glossy look to them and a brownish color starts to come through the present amber color of them. "Her death triggered Faith. She had dark brown hair and dark eyes. She fought with a passion Buffy never had and a fire that Kendra lacked. I saw her in action when she was new to it and just watching her move in the fight made me fall in love with her. We became friends and I helped her through some dark times. She didn't have a great home life and wasn't very stable. With the help of Giles I was able to get her grounded and helped heal some old wounds. She accidentally killed the Deputy Mayor while hunting with Buffy. She almost lost it. I stayed with her for days as she finally came to terms with it. The two of us didn't hunt for a couple months. I wouldn't leave her side except when we were at school. We stood together and she fell in love with me. She didn't think of me so weird having a Hyena apart of me. She though it was like her having the Slayer essence in her. Like something additional to the package that makes it better with out taking away from it. We found out that the Mayor of SunnyDale was trying to become a full demon and would end up destroying the town. The Scoobys were able to stop him." A few tears escape from his now fully brown eyes. A deep look of sadness was in them but laughter was at the top. Like even though he was in pain you could see he was laughing and smiling at the story he was telling. "After that she and I left town to hunt and live. We dusted countless vampires and demons. We lived and loved for two years. The SunnyDale group got information to us about needing help with a Hell Goddess named Glory. We went back after two years of being gone. We gathered up everyone and fought to save the world and Buffy's little sister Dawn. During the fight Faith was fighting one of her worshippers. He was trying to sacrifice Dawn to open a portal but Faith was able to stop him. She grabbed him and through him off ....," Xander\Alpha stopped and cried. His eyes that were fully brown and started to become amber and soon they were full amber again like when Vicky first me him. He dried some of his tears and finished, "she was actually stabbed with the knife once in the heart and was going to die. She grabbed him and jumped off the tower that we were on. Before she did she look towards us and smiled. We couldn't think of a moment when we loved her more. They fell off the tower. I don't know if it was the fall or stab wound but they were both dead when Dawn and I came down from the tower. Buffy was left fighting Glory and wasn't going to last much longer. He picked up the knife and started walking towards Glory. Soon he was pulling all the power out of the Hyena Spirit he could and he became we and we became me, Alpha. We killed Glory out of grief and rage. When the battle was done I walked away and picked up our mate. He found out earlier that she was pregnant with our cub. She was dead now and with her our cub. Xander completely stopped responding. I was left to take care of Faith and tell the others what happened. I left shortly after. We have been hunting and I have been trying to get him to heal and take over again. Right now is the most rest I have had in the last couple weeks. He is back in his grief and denial but for a few moments he was here talking and remembering. I thank you for that. It will help out a look in the longer run. I am sorry to cut this but I am tried from the fight, healing, and talking about her. I will sleep on the floor here and you can take the bed. There long shirts in the bag if you want to change. I am not going to peek so don't worry about me. Good night Red." He then stood up took a pillow of the bed along with a blanket and curled up in a ball on the floor with his head propped on the pillow.  
  
Vicky stood up and walked over to the bag of clothes to find a shirt. She found a black one with the word 'Boytoy' on the front. She just shrugged her shoulders and walked in to the bathroom. She shut the door and stripped out of her clothes. She went to take a quick shower then put her panties back on deciding to sleep braless. She put the shirt on looked in the mirror and tied her hair back. She walked out of the shower and climbed in to the bed. Alpha was on the floor asleep and making whimper like noises. She listened to what seemed to be a nightmare for him as she herself went to sleep. She would have to ask him about that tomorrow.  
  
She awoke the next morning to find him no longer on the floor and the pillow and blanket was back to being on the bed. She looked around the room and found that his bag was also gone along with everything else. A new set of clothes were next to the bed. It looks like he got up really early cleaned up his stuff and got her a new pair of pants and a shirt that was her size. "The bastard left with out even saying goodbye. When I see him next he is going to be hurting. First asking me if I would like to patrol with him and then leaving me. At least he got me some new clothes. I guess living with a slayer for a couple years would perfect that not making a waking noise but damn him for getting me interested in him. UUUUGGGGGHHHH!" She got out of the bed and went in to the bathroom. On the mirror was a note for her. It read 'Hey Red I am getting breakfast in the lounge. I will stay there till 11 then head back up to the room. If you are up before then join me and we can finish talking about me then start talking about you. If not we can do lunch later in the day. Alpha.' She grabbed the not and proceed to wash her face and clean up a bit. She smiled as she got dressed and headed down to the lounge. She passed his truck and saw all his stuff packed away and ready to go. She was going to join him for awhile. She still wanted to get to SunnyDale. It seemed to call to her but she was happy with the time with Xander/Alpha for the time being. She walked into the lounge and sees him sitting in a booth watching her with a cup of coffee. She heads to where he is sitting and sits across from him.  
  
"I was starting to wonder if you would be getting up soon. I got you some new clothes since women don't like to have to wear dirty clothes. I hope they fit good. It wasn't easy to be able to get the sizes right. And if I went through the ladies clothes one more time I think they would have called me in. So where did we leave off?"  
  
"You are going to tell me why you need Xander in control again."  
  
"Okay first let's get you some food and then we will finish that up." Alpha gets the server's attention and orders some breakfast and then motions for Vicky to order. After she is finished ordering she looks towards Alpha.  
  
"Didn't you already eat?"  
  
"No I just ordered coffee and waited for you while reading the paper."  
  
"How long have you been sitting here waiting for me to get up for breakfast?"  
  
"About three hours. Don't worry he has waited longer for Faith to wake up. She would have a fit if he ate with out her. This is the first time in weeks I had to wait for someone and it just felt good to wait."  
  
Vicky frowns a little at the comment but continue on anyway. "Okay then, you were going to say."  
  
"As Alpha I am using all our strength and will power to keep going. Why that is since the Hyena is not the soul of this body the little things the body does to stay alive like pump blood and little things like that are not its function. So it takes more energy for me to exist then it does for Xander to be in full control. If the Hyena was in full control from the get go then I would not be here. The Hyena would have acted totally different in everything leading up to me that I wouldn't even be here now. If our mate died with the Hyena in control in would have just started looking for another mate not mourning the lose of a mate and cub."  
  
"Okay so how long till you can no longer survive as is?"  
  
"Thanks to you last night I say 4 months. If we get breaks like that more often longer but he needs to retake control or we are just delaying the inevitable. We will die and our mate will not be happy about the life we lived after her death."  
  
"Why do you say that? She doesn't seem to be doing anything to try and convince you to heal and move on."  
  
"Are you sure of that. For the first time in weeks I was able to rest even just for minutes. He was able to talk about her and heal a little bit. Our dream last night was more talking and less violence. He is getting there. He might be able to if nothing else crashes down on us. You in just one night helped us more then the weeks leading up to. How do you know that you weren't lead here to help me?"  
  
"I am here only because that demon killed my watcher. If she set that up then when I get up there I am going to kick her ass. So no I am not here for you at all. Yes I would like to travel with you for awhile but I am heading to the Hellmouth. There might be a Slayer there but I still needed to be there. I must take my place there and fight along side them. You will come with me right. They are your friends and if I show up there with you then all is good."  
  
"I will make you a deal you help get Xander back in control and stick around for a few months after then we can head to the Hellmouth okay."  
  
She though it over for a bit, "Okay that will do. So Alpha can you tell me more about Faith and the Hellmouth."  
  
Alpha just smiled and started telling about when Faith arrived in SunnyDale after running from Kakistos. The more he told the more brown would start to show. At some points there was all brown in the eyes but it would always fade back to amber. 


	5. Remembrance 1 of 3

Timeline: 6th Season AU Pairing: None but mentions of F/X Rating: R (language, mild violence, some sexual content) Summary: Xander didn't completely lose the Hyena. They have merged. Faith and Xander became a couple in his senior year and after the Mayor left SunnyDale. They returned two years later to help out against Glory. Faith was found to be pregnant but was killed in the fight on the tower. Xander killed Glory and Alpha had to take control to keep him alive after the fight. He met up with Vicky, new slayer, and is slowly getting Xander back in control.  
  
Remembrance  
Chapter 1  
  
It has been fours months since Vicky and Alpha joined up. They have fought many hard battles and many close calls. Alpha still has control but it is getting less and less. Xander is becoming stronger and starting to actually do stuff like while they eat or talk. Alpha is mostly there for quite moments or fights. Maybe a few more weeks and Xander will be well in to the healing process. Not over or even through but still the beginning of it all.  
  
Xander looks around and it is surrounded by darkness. He can see only Alpha sitting across from him. Alpha is the first to speak, "So Xander do you think we can actually do something useful this time around. I got it how about we realize Faith is dead not coming back and then start to heal. I am sick and tired of this. What don't you understand? We need to get living or just end it all and let what we have done be enough to not get sent to hell for killing ourselves. What do you want to try?"  
  
"Boston," he says in a quiet whisper.  
  
"What, say that again a little louder please."  
  
Xander looks at him with no hate or anger just pain. "I would like to go to Boston to say goodbye. She was from there and we had her body shipped there after her death." He hitches on the word death but manages to say it.  
  
"We can do that but you have to drive completely there on your own power and control. I will still be there if you need me but you have to do it yourself. Why do you want to do this?"  
  
"If she isn't coming back then I need to see it one finally time. She did it all for me. I can't get the last smile out of my mind. She tried to look happy to take away my pain so I would remember that look. Not one of pain and torture but of her almost laughing at death like she would. I want one more time to see it and read her name on the tombstone. We do this and I will take full control and you can fade to where ever you belong."  
  
"Okay Xander one last time to say goodbye then we start to trudge back to SunnyDale to fight with our friends and family. You know maybe Vicky would be interested in dating you after awhile. You can smell her after a fight. She gets a similar look in her eye. She could also love you. She wouldn't be Faith but she would be something that could become something else. Think about it."  
  
"Not her, she is a bit too young and by the time I would even be ready she should have moved on."  
  
"If that is what you think. Okay well let's sleep for a little bit longer and when you wake up tell her where we are going and tell her why."  
  
"What ever." After that Alpha just kind of fades away and Xander stars dreaming of a lost love and missed friends.  
  
It is nine in the morning when Xander wakes up and gets Vicky up. "Vicky you need to get up." Xander says quietly to Vicky because to startle her awake would put in attack mode and it is too early in the morning to get thrown across the room.  
  
Vicky is just mumbling in her sleep "Xander lo..Always."  
  
Xander jumps back away from Vicky not sure if he heard her correctly and not wanting to deal with it if he had. No today was about Faith but really how was that different from any other day he wasn't sure.  
  
Vicky awoke quickly to the quick moment around her and started at Xander, "Alpha what do you want? It is too early to have to get up and after last night's 8 demons and 4 vampires us Slayer girls need more sleep. I am sure you and him know that right?"  
  
"Not Alpha," is all he managed to get out. Taking a deep breath if goes for a full statement. "I am not Alpha and yes I know what happens when you wake up cranky Slayers. It is what you do to them that will get them out of being cranky that can make it worth it. But for now I need you awake. I need to talk about where we are going next." With that he walks out of the room and heads to take a shower.  
  
Vicky just stares at the door with a slight smile on her face, "Xander is awake in the shower and I think he just flirted with me. I think today is going to be a good day. After that dream I guess anything can happen." She gets out of bed to gather her own clothes to dress in when she gets a sneaky idea. She is sitting there in just her panties with a towel draped around her neck that manage to hide her breast but not the fact that with a quick tug of the towel she would have them out for viewing. "I hope he lives through this." So sits and waits. She hears the shower stop and waits. With her hearing she hears him dress and put on his deodorant. The door opens and out walks Xander.  
  
"Shower is all...," that was all he got out as he just stared at her. His mind couldn't get past the sight before him. Vicky sitting there in panties and a towel to cover her. Somewhere there is a god laughing at him and he wasn't sure he wanted to think what Faith was doing looking down on him.  
  
"Thanks Suga'," was all she said as she stood and walked by him. His eyes never left her and when her back was to him she took the towel from her neck and flung it on her arm. She stopped and did a kind of half turn back towards him giving him a profile look of her. The towel around her arm again covered her breast from view but left the imagination to run free. "I will be out in a few. I just need to soap up really nice and wash off." She turned back to the bathroom and walked in shutting the door behind her.  
  
As Xander stared at the door his eyes shifted to Amber, "Told you but you wouldn't listen to me. Don't drag her around much longer. Tell her now one way or another." His eyes shifted back to brown.  
  
"Yeah she is going to be the death of me. I am more sure of that now then ever." With that Xander gather up the rest of the stuff and cleaned the room. 15 minutes later the shower stopped. And the door opened with a soaked Vicky standing there in her towel held loosely around her chest.  
  
"Xander dear can you get me my pile of clothes next to the bed. I forgot to bring them in with me." She said to him with the most innocent eyes and smile she could manage. "If not I can get them myself but with this towel so tight around me I would either have to go slowly or risk it slipping off me."  
  
"Yeah I will get them for you," He gets the pile of clothes and notices on the top or her bar and panties which are very suggestive in themselves let alone. Now with the last show he got and now knowing what she had on this was going to be one of those days. "Here you go Vicky."  
  
"Thanks dear," she grabs for the clothes and turns around to shut the door but the towel falls and Xander is hit with a close up view of her cute round ass. "Whoops," she says as she pushes the door close quickly.  
  
"It has to be a Slayer thing. All this fighting and no release like Faith and I had has driven her insane. That's it. I will talk to her about it later." He says this as he walked away from the door getting further and further with each word. He stops at the door out of the room and turns back to the bathroom. "Vicky I am going to breakfast. Join me when you are done." He turns and scurries out the door before he even gets a response to his statement.  
  
Vicky hears him call out and quickly leaves the room. She finishes getting dressed with a huge smile on his face. "There I did it. He knows I am interested and soon as we talk about what he wants to do I am going to ask if he would like to go out on a date. Faith was this aggressive and he loved it from her. So I can do that without being her." She looks her self over in the mirror and is satisfied with what she sees. "He wont know what hit him."  
  
When she gets down to the lounge Xander is already sitting down with coffee and her soda is waiting. "So Xander what brings you out this early in the day?"  
  
"We are heading to Boston tonight. I would like to be there by the end of the week baring any hot zones or end of world type things. She is buried there and I want to see her finally spot in the world. You don't have to come along with me. I can get you setup to fly out to L.A. with transportation to SunnyDale after that."  
  
"You think you could get rid of me that easy. We have a deal going. I get you back to the foreground then we do some serious hunting and then hit SunnyDale unless we are given message we are needed there sooner. So don't go changing this yet. Besides you are the closes thing I have to a watcher after what happened to my last one. I would like to keep you around."  
  
"I will try to be there for you Vicky but I have to tell you this and you are not going to like it. I am not ready for a relationship. I needed more time and I don't know how long it will be till I am ready to try anything again. Yes you are attractive and I am still recovering from this morning but I can't say if I will ever be ready again."  
  
I cold glare came to Vicky's eyes as she looked Xander up and down. "Here is what we are going to do. We get to Boston you do what ever you need to do. We start on are way back to SunnyDale. From when we leave Boston and get to SunnyDale you have to think about moving on from Faith and when we get there you and I are going out for dinner and dancing. After that you can do what you will and how you will but you will give me that much after everything we have done and fought you will do that. You know what happens when Slayers don't get what they want don't cha Xander." She tells with a smirk on her face.  
  
Xander just looks stunned at her. "Okay but after that date you shouldn't expect anything from me."  
  
"I would never do that Suga. I just want one good night free of vampires and our past. Just one night us together on a nice date." She was giving that innocent smile which tried to hide ideas that were many things but not innocent.  
  
"Sure. Breakfast then, you know it is the most important meal of the deal. Let's see I want eggs, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, and bacon that is a good start. What would you like?"  
  
"I think eggs and bacon will do fine. And Xander maybe your others girls let you switch subjects on them but I tell you now we will talk about it again and again till you talk to me. For now breakfast needs to be ordered and I need a refill on my soda."  
  
"Okay. I will talk while we drive."  
  
"One more thing I want you to understand. I am not Faith. I am not trying to be Faith but you are a single cutie and so am I We both have some baggage to deal with but we can get through it. I don't mind the wait but do think I will always wait."  
  
Xander just nods his head as the server arrives to take their orders. After she walks off they continue to talk about the trip to Boston and where to stop along the way.  
  
SunnyDale  
  
"So what is wrong with her?"  
  
"I don't know. She seems fine just a little distant."  
  
"Distant you call that distant. Willow Cleveland is closer then she is right now."  
  
"Well what were you like after coming back, oh yeah you were a bitch that almost got us all killed. At least she isn't doing that."  
  
"That was low and I also wasn't gone that long. A few minutes is a lot less then 2 months. She just sits around like she is waiting for something. We told her Lex would be back when he was done. She understands that but still she looks so alone."  
  
"Well you are head slayer go talk to her and invite her out to patrol or something. Me and Tara will swing by after patrol with a late dinner and we can sit and talk about anything. We both know that Lex will be back and as soon as he gets word Faith is here again he will be on the express road trip back."  
  
"Okay that sounds like a good idea." Buffy leaves the back room of the Magic Box and head to the table to talk to Faith. "Faith you think you could be up for a patrol tonight. Vampires are on the rise and we need to get back in to the heavy of it. You with me."  
  
"Sorry B not tonight. I was just going to go back to your place and crash. Maybe talk to Dawn for a bit. She still seems a little freaked with me being back and all. Any word from or about Lex?"  
  
"Not yet but he seems to have caught up with the new Slayer and they are just traveling around. It seems that Giles missed them by a few days in Oklahoma. Why would they be in Oklahoma was beyond me but they were last heading North East towards Michigan. Giles can't find any reported hotspot along the route to try and figure out where they are going. He is going to be okay Faith. He is going to head back here and see you and probably both of you will disappear for awhile." Buffy finishes with a smile.  
  
"Maybe B maybe." Faith just stood up and walked out the door head home in the dark.  
  
"I am sorry Faith. I though we were doing what was right. Maybe not fully but once he gets back then you will see there is still things to live for in life."  
  
Faith just keeps walking in a general direction of home. She cuts through a cemetery towards a familiar crypt. She gets to the door and opens it up to see Spike just watching TV.  
  
"You come back for more love? Just can't get enough of me. You should have stayed with me then the whelp. He could never please a Slayer like I can," Spike says while he stands and turns towards her. "Of course he already has left you to get with the new Slayer. Maybe he was using you just to make himself look better. Look at the girl I got the real Slayer. But that isn't true anymore. You are like Buffy now. He left her after knowing her for three years and it look likes your three years is over also."  
  
Faith removed her shirt and undid her pants. "Can we do this without all the talking?"  
  
Spike approached her and pulled her in for a rough kiss and started to undress himself as the moved over to his bed. Faith still has a very distant look but her eyes show ones of disgust for doing this. 


	6. Remembrance 2 of 3

Chapter 2  
  
Two warriors pull in to a gas station in the middle of a night just outside of Toledo. The red haired woman has a short hair cut. She is wearing a low cut black shirt and low rider black leather pants. The burnet man has a black t-shirt, dark blue jeans and a black leather trench coat. The both of them get out of the truck at the same time. The man heads over to the gas pump while the woman heads into the station.  
  
"Need anything other then some Twinkies Xander?"  
  
"How about some Jolt to wash it down. We might need the sugar rush tonight. There is something in this town setting my hair on end."  
  
"Gotcha Suga. One Jolt and couple of Twinkies. I will pay the attendant for the gas. We also need to raid a few crypts in the next week to restock up in the cash. Getting kind of low."  
  
"No problems Vicky. After Boston I am going to call Giles and get him to wire us some money to get us back. I will also tell him that he now has two Slayers again so the Watcher Council can up his pay a little."  
  
"Why does he get paid to watch us fight? I mean really other then reading books and practice dummies what do they do to get paid while we have to fend for ourselves."  
  
"I couldn't tell you Vicky. I tried to get that through his head with Buffy and Faith. I didn't work so well. And that is why we are so good at going through vamp lairs to get the cash and sellable items."  
  
"Okay Suga let's get this going." Vicky turns to walk to the station while Xander starts to pump the gas.  
  
A few minutes later Xander has filled the tank and Vicky has returned with the snacks when a voice breaks out of the night, "What do we have here? Looks like."  
  
The other two vampires looked on as their leader crumble to ashes. They all had shocked look in their eyes and the saw the woman head to their side of the truck and the man stood there looking at them with disgust.  
  
"He actually used the look what we have here line. I am so god dam sick of the fucking line used by you leeches. I have been trying to figure out do you get a hand book when you rise about the stupid phrases to use. You know if you just flat out attacked me you might have at least gotten a few hits in before me and the Slayer killed you guys. But now you just killed. Ready Vicky."  
  
"So ready Xander." The started towards the other vampires with stakes ready.  
  
One just looked at them in shook then almost a sense of awe" You are them. The two warriors. The Slayer and the Hunter. You guys have been together since what '99 2000. All over this side of California. Killing demons and vamps alike. Man I head about you a year ago when in Kansas. You guys left a week before we got there and the demons that were still living warned us of you two. They were right. That Slayer of yours is a babe. Why the hair change? She would look good as a burnet."  
  
It was the last statement that drove Xander over the edge. His eyes flashed a bright glowing amber has he raced towards the vampire. Vicky head towards the other and staked him while Xander pummeled the other one.  
  
"You don't ever talk about her again," punch to the head and a sweep the cracked one of his knees. "You hear me. Don't even think about her. She was so far beyond you that you couldn't even have a clue." Xander just kept punching and kicking. "When you get to hell tell I sent you." Xander then grabbed the vamp's head and with a scream of rage twisted the head right off the body. He dropped the head as the vampire dusted. He looked back to Vicky and she had a worried look on her face.  
  
"Xander are you okay?"  
  
"Keys are still in the ignition so you can drive." With that he head over to the passenger side and opened the door got in and buckled up.  
  
Vicky went to the driver and repeated the process. "Xander are you okay?" She looked to him with concern and worry.  
  
"Right now it is Alpha. In ten minutes if he isn't back head North to Michigan at the next Interstate."  
  
"Wait what about."she was cut off when Alpha turned to her and gave her a very hard look.  
  
"Trust me Red; he knows what I am doing. He also knows why I am doing it. We have a deal and right now he is getting some leeway but only for another ten minutes."  
  
Vicky looked at Alpha and just nodded her head. She started the truck and continued east with out speaking. They just sat in silence with the minutes clicking on. The count down was head into the last three minutes when he spoke up.  
  
"I am here Vicky we can go on like planned."  
  
"Good to have you back. Going to tell me what the hell just happened or what?"  
  
The truck was silent for a few more minutes till Xander spoke again. "We were together for about a year at this point when we came across some demons. Nothing new for us but when we started attacking the a few demons ran away. We got the leaders of the group and saved some hostages and buried a few that were tortured to death before we got there. The pain in her eyes after we buried them took a while to fade. A few months later we fall in to an ambush by these same demons telling us about how the Slayer and her Hunter were not walking away from this. Somewhere in the middle of it she was hit very hard from the back and fell to the ground. I saw here there with this demon getting ready to take her head off with a sword. I really am unsure what fully happened I know I attacked him and kept attacking it. The warriors around us just seem to stop and watch in horror as I start to change. Faith said it was kind of like watching the hulk but brown not green. I grow a few inches but my arms and legs almost doubled in size from muscle mass. My canine teeth length an inch and my jaw extend a few inches. Most notable was my eyes going from bright amber to a reddish color. They gave off a glow that seemed to scare these demons to a halt. I slaughter at least 20 before they ran off. I am not talking taking heads I put hands through bodies and ripped out hearts. I ripped off arms and heads. After it was done I looked to Faith and she saw what I had become. I walked towards her to hold her and make sure she was alright. She actually jumped back from my touch. Not much just enough to stop my progress towards her. I remember looking in to her eyes and seeing fear of me. I turned and ran from her. When I found her the next morning she was just sitting by the truck waiting for me. I could still smell the tears from the crying that she did." Xander stops for a moment and looks out the front window as a few tears fall down his cheek. "We never talked about it. I don't know if I could ever do it again. A few weeks go by and we are in Minnesota for some ungodly reason. We smash our way in to a vampire lair. They look to us and start screaming about the Slayer and The Hunter were here. The started running away for us, some ran into the sun to get away thinking it was less painful that way. We just smirked at each other and killed the rest. When we walked out of the warehouse we just looked at each other and laughed. It was when I looked deep in her easy I could still see a little fear towards me. Not a lot just some to make it hurt at what I had done and what apparently I can become. We took patrols more safely. Did more for long range weapons instead of constantly up and close combat. But every now and then we would be in a fight and someone would call me the Hunter. After wards I could still see the fading fear in her eyes. I haven't been called that in almost half a year from hunting in to new areas and just roaming the past few months. When he mentioned it all those times came back to me. That little amount of fear in her eyes after it was mentioned and how she died.." Xander just trails off.  
  
"You don't have to continue Xander. I am not afraid of you or Alpha. I will never be afraid of you as long as you are alive."  
  
"Sometimes Vicky I think she smiled at me just so I wouldn't go over that edge again. So I wouldn't scare my friends like I did her. She knew what would happen to me. Of curse the side effect is now this side of me being active and conscious at all times. Even right now I can feel him live those moments again. He and I enjoyed what we did to those demons but what it cost me/us was something I was never able to get back. I just never really though about it till it hit me when he called me it. She died afraid of me. I will never be able to change that. Sorry Vicky to dump this on you but with the deal I have going I have to stay active and I needed to talk about it because brooding makes me like someone else and I will never be that."  
  
"Okay Xander. At the next exit we are getting off and going to a motel for the night. I need my beauty sleep. You know what I got a better idea. We can get it for two days and kind of relax. In what two more days we will be in Boston if that. We can relax do some swimming and just enjoy ourselves."  
  
Xander just looked at her smiled and nodded his head.  
  
"Sweet you are going to love this we can sleep in till noon then walk around out in the sun and do normal things like window shop and such. You will love it."  
  
"Sure Vic what ever you want to do." With that Xander just leaned back a little and closed his brown eyes and wiped away the last few tears.  
  
Vicky just smiled at him. This was the first time he called her something other then Vicky. Alpha almost always called her Red but Vic was Xander's first nickname for her and she treasured it.  
  
The stopped off at the next exit and got a room with a hot tub for two nights. They both soaked in the hot tub that night and took long showers the next day. Just enjoying and relaxing during their moment of peace. They went out that day to do some shopping and went to a sci-fi movie. Xander just seemed so different to her like this. Smiling and joking about things around him. He wasn't cold before but not a very warm cuddly person to be around. She could see how people could fall in love with this side of him. It was the other side the Alpha as it was now being called that only a few people could. Ones that could accept the need to go out and fight and defend others against evil. The cold hard edge of a predator that only a Slayer or some other fighter of this fight could accept. She was really starting to understand what Faith was to him. She was the person that would walk down the street on a sunny day with a fuck you and a finger to anyone that would make a comment about them. She would always be there for him and never leave him. In return he offered her the same. They had home lives that made them almost crave that kind of loyalty like a drug. They would also fight tooth and nail to keep it. She also realized the root of the problem with him. Would he let go of her and try to find it again. Could he possible move on even if to only to be hurt in the next relationship? She would look to those answers for another time.  
  
"Come on Xan lets go back to the room and rent a flix to watch." She waited for his response as she grabbed his hand. He pulled out of her grasp and looked at her with scared brown eyes that fade to amber but return to brown just as fast.  
  
"Sorry Vicky I have to go," Xander turned around seemed to almost run to back to the room himself. Vicky was left standing there trying to figure out what just happened and if she should be pissed or concerned. She choose concern as she chased after him. Pissed can happen later if she didn't like the answer. 


	7. Remembrance 3 of 3

Chapter 3  
  
She got back to the room opened the door and look for Xander. He was there sitting in a chair facing the bed with tears in his eyes. "God Xander what happen? I am sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you." Vicky just started babbling on about being sorry.  
  
Xander just started laughing. It was a bitter laugh but a laugh none the less. "I haven't been called Xan in a while. She called me it every now and then. Mostly like on days like this to get away relax. She dragged me to the beach one time but I didn't really want to go. She looked at me and pouted. God could she pout. Then she says in a very sexy deep voice 'Xan if you come to the beach with me we can swim later.' I am looking at her of course we can swim it is a beach. She leans in to my ear and whispers 'Not if we want to do it naked.' I slipped out of the chair I was sitting in looked at her and got ready for the beach. We went all day just relaxing and swimming. Then we went all night not relaxing and partly swimming. I am sorry Vicky. For almost an hour today I didn't think about her or our loses, I just lived for a bit. When you said that I was flooded with memories of her and it hit me all again, she is dead and nothing is bringing her back. Alpha was going to take over for a moment to get me out of there but I stopped him. I took control of this and ran like a coward. I am sorry for that. Please forgive me."  
  
"Suga I am not going to hold it against you. We have just the rest of the day here. I will tell you about some of me to balance all the info of you and her I have. She was very special Xander. I am glad I can help you along. I am very proud that you kept control and dealt with the situation. Running away like a coward may not have been the best choice but it gave you the time to sit and think about it with out doing anything rash or foolish."  
  
"Thanks Vicky. We can watch TV and do a pay per view night. Thanks again Vicky." Xander gets up and goes to Vicky and gives her a hug. She can feel herself molding to his form. She had a wide happy smile on her face. This was their first moment like this. No thinking about the past but just right now this moment about comfort and togetherness. And as movies and TV shows (and fanfics) go it was the knocking at the door that parted them. "I will get it then we can do the movie thing okay."  
  
"Sure Suga I am going to take a quick shower and join you in the room." She left him with a smile and a wave.  
  
Xander walks over to the door and looks out the peep hole. You can't be to sure when you aren't expecting visitors. It was the face of Giles behind the door that shook him. He opens the door and looks hard at Giles. "I believe he said not to track us down. You are lucky you found me now. Finding him earlier would have cost you. What do you want Giles?"  
  
"Oh yes well I have come to get you and request of 5 women. And you know when a Slayer asks you for something in a certain way it means do and won't suffer bodily harm. I would like to get you to come back to SunnyDale. You are needed in a very desperate way."  
  
"Why does Willow's mom want me back in SunnyDale? I get the rest but why even bring her up?"  
  
"What, oh yeah the 5th women. No it isn't Mrs. Rosenberg. It is another woman from you past."  
  
"Cordy. You brought Cord to SunnyDale to bring me back. You should have sent Cordy just so I would leave this area. I am not ready to go back. I am heading to Boston and I need to go there." Xander was about to speak again when Giles stops him.  
  
"Not Cordy you stupid git. It is Faith. She has been brought back and really needs you with her." Giles watches as Xander for the first time since he has known him can't find a word to say. It is when Vicky walks in with a towel and nothing else that moment passes.  
  
"Suga you going join me in the shower anytime soon?" She laughs a little but looks at the two now looking at her and watches the older man turn to Xander and hits him across the jaw.  
  
"You prat, you waste of human garbage, this is how you get over her, by bedding down with some trollop and wasting your time away." He keeps yelling at him and strikes him again. Giles picks him up and goes for a third strike. Xander's eyes open to reveal the feral amber again and grabs Giles fist in mid strike.  
  
"Nice timing Red. Next time you think it might be fun to do this make bloody well sure that Ripper isn't on the other side of the door. Now Giles the red head is Vicky Johnson the current Slayer. She is either going to finish her shower or get dressed right now and join us for talking at the dinner table. I hope you can control yourself a little longer because right now you're alive because Xander thinks you can be forgiven for the miss understanding hear. And if what you say about Faith is true then we will be leaving tomorrow after we pack." Alpha squeezes his hand and can see the pain on Giles face. "Move it Red this guy has pissed me off and I want to take a break from fighting Xander. It feels good to be doing it though. I do have to thank you for that Giles. He still has loyalties." Alpha then lets go of his fist and as Giles takes a step back to rub his hand as the fist across his jaw knocks him to the ground. "Honor also has a price remember that." Alpha's eye shift back to brown as Xander offers his hand to help Giles up.  
  
"Thanks and sorry for hitting you Lex it was wrong of me. For my defense she did come out of nowhere with a very suggestive theme going on about her. Is Vicky going to be moving anytime soon?"  
  
The both of them are now looking at her as she blushes a red that seems to be matching her hair. She turns around and bolts out of the room to get dressed.  
  
"Nice girl but she has been doing things like that lately. I have told her a lot about Faith and myself. She knows that I am not ready to move on but she likes to have fun at my expense. And we both know what a Slayer will do at our expense. Let's sit. I will make some tea for us. You can tell me what the fuck is going on in SunnyDale that Faith is back. She shouldn't even be there now. I left instructions to have her body shipped to Boston to have it buried there. I was on my way there to say good bye to her and head back." Xander says as he walks in to the kitchen and gets some tea for tea bags. He puts the water on to boil and sits down at the table with Giles. Vicky comes out of the bathroom and sits across from Giles.  
  
"Hi Mr. Giles. I am the new Slayer Vicky Johnson. Xander has told me a lot about you and I would like you to be my watcher also."  
  
"Well Ms. Johnson I would be happy to. I will file with the Council when we get back to SunnyDale. And please cal me Giles.  
  
"Thanks you Giles. Did I hear correctly that Faith was alive and still in SunnyDale?"  
  
"Yes we are asking Lex to come back to her. She is in a bad place right now and she really is waiting for you to comeback. She won't be able to last much longer. She isn't doing all that well. She seems distant and non responsive to a lot of things. She hasn't patrolled in the two months she has been back. She just sits in the Magic Box and we believe she is waiting for you to return and make her happy again. So it is Xander again and not Lex. What brought this on?"  
  
"Glory did. I drew on so much of the Hyena in me with out becoming something else, that he was created." Xander's eyes shift amber, "Hello Giles I am Alpha. I am all the strengths of the Hyena. Xander still has some gifts but he is closer to what he was before the zoo that day then after it. He mostly has the heighten senses and reflexes but not the strength. And I can out do Vicky any day of the week. Probably Buffy and our mate once we get her back up and running." His eyes shifty back to brown. "Pretty cool sometimes Giles."  
  
"My word Xander that definitely can be usefully from time to time. So can we head back to SunnyDale then?"  
  
"Sure I want to talk to Vicky then we will check out and head back with you." Giles stands to leave and says his goodbyes to Xander and Vicky. Then walks down the hallway to the elevator then out then out the door. "I am sorry Vicky for doing this to you. I was starting to think going out with you would be great but with Faith.."  
  
"..Don't say it Xander. I already understand it but it won't make it easier. I am going to take a shower alone and get ready to go." With that she turned and walk in the bathroom. She disrobed and turned on the shower when it was hot enough she got in and just stood under the water. It was able to hide the tears coming down her face and muffle out some of the sobs. She was unsure what was hurting the worse, losing him to the only woman that could take him, or just losing him with out ever having him. She wouldn't debate it she would just live with it. 


	8. Abandonment 1 of

Time line: 6th Season AU Paring: X\F, F\S, W\T Summary: Faith has been brought back from the dead. She has started sleeping with Spike. Xander is on his way back to Sunnydale with Vicky the new Slayer.  
  
Abandonment  
Chapter 1  
  
Xander looks over to Vicky as the leave Nevada and enter California. They haven't spoken much in the last three days about what is going to happen in SunnyDale. Xander has tried to bring it up but Vicky just seems to tone him out.  
  
"You know for a girl that wouldn't let me get around a tough subject you are doing a great job of it. Talk to me Vicky, I need to know what you want to do in Sunnydale. You should get ready to start college and pursue other interest then just fighting vampires."  
  
"Trust me Xander what I will pursue is none of your concern. What are you going to be doing or who are you going to be doing in SunnyDale?" Vicky asks with a hurt and mean tone.  
  
Xander just looks at her with an annoyed expression, "Fine you don't want to talk about it. Yes I am going to be with Faith. She needs me and I need her. She has been given a chance to live again and I don't want to pass on it. She would do the same for me. I am sorry Vicky that it hurts. I know we said we would try a date when we got back but we also knew that is was possible it would never happen between us. I care for you Vicky but I love her. I could not stop loving her. So there it is."  
  
"You are right Xander. I my not be happy but there were no promises of a relationship. Trust me when I say that she is not the only girl for you. She may be the right one but not the only one." She went back to staring out the window while Xander drove on. By tomorrow night they would be in SunnyDale. He would be with her and she would pick up in the big fight to save the world. Maybe there will be some cute guys she can hook up with. They might even be able to make her as happy as he did.  
  
They stop later that night and all got separate rooms. Xander and Vicky laid awake most of it missing the other person that would usually sleep in the room. Xander knows with getting Faith he won't be alone again and Vicky knows she can get people to take his place. The world is a very big place after all. The phone next to Vicky's bed rings and she goes to answer it.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I wanted to know if you would like to grab an early breakfast. It still is the most important meal of the day."  
  
"Sure Xander let me get dressed and join you in the lounge."  
  
"Thanks. I will see you there." Xander hangs up the phone.  
  
Vicky looks at the phone and smiles a little. She hangs it up and starts to get ready for breakfast. She heads down and sees Xander sitting in a booth with a cup of coffee and a soda for her.  
  
"Thanks for joining me Vicky. I just want you to still be my friend. Your right maybe in some life you could have been but for this one it is her. I wish I could take away your hurt but I can't. I will be there for you if you need be. You don't have to worry about me leaving you completely. I just need to be with her."  
  
Vicky just looks at him with sad eyes, "I know Xander. For a few moments on that trip I felt so close to you. I understand her more now from it. I know what she is to you. In some life maybe it could have been me but I won't stop being your friend. Besides you still owe me for the demon in Topeka and the Zombies out side of Oklahoma." She replied with a sweet smile.  
  
"First off I have saved your ass more then you have saved mine. And if the Zombie didn't rip open your shirt while you were wearing the push up I wouldn't have gotten that distracted that you would have to save me." Xander shoots back with a lopsided grin as he remembers her figure.  
  
Vicky blushes a little, "That was all part of my master plan to get you to notice me like that." As she fishes she is just smiling at the memory.  
  
"We had some good times Vicky. Thank you for that. It really did help out a lot."  
  
"Remember Xander I will help you whenever you need. Also remember I will never be afraid of you as long as you are alive." They just sat together for the rest of the meal enjoying each others company some thoughts drifting to what ifs but mostly just happy with what ares.  
  
SunnyDale  
Spike is looking around his destroyed crypt. "With those bleedin eggs gone I am never getting out of this town. Bloody hell Cardboard and the bint needed to come here and destroy my place. Well at least the Whelp isn't back yet. Wait till he finds out just how good his girl is in bed." Spike turns to see Faith is standing in the wrecked door way. "Let me get a new mat and we can continue are fun. I really need a good shag to get over this and your fine body is just what the Doctor ordered."  
  
"Its over Spike. I don't want you to touch me. Lex is coming back for me and you don't measure to him."  
  
"That's not what I heard you screaming last week. I know you remember that side trip from patrol to get your dose. Baby I am so in your blood you won't know what to do. You think Lex can make you feel alive like I do. In the end of a week you will be sneaking off on him and come crawling back to me. You will and then you can drop this belief you belong with the living. You are of the night like me. You crave me more then to slay. You what me so much I can smell your arousal from here." Spike takes a few steps towards Faith. He has removed his shirt and undid the button of hi pants. "Why do you even bother hidden it from me. You think your Lex will take you back. We all know he gots the new Slayer. He did what two weeks of missing you after you died. He only is coming back because of what you can do in bed." Spike is right in front of her and starts to lift up her shirt.  
  
Faith grabs his arm and pushes him away. "No Lex loves me. He isn't doing anything but killing your kind with the new Slayer. Giles already told us this. He is coming for me and that is it. You are scum Spike. He won't know we ever happened and he would never believe you over me. So stay away from me and him Spike." She turns and walks away from him.  
  
"Trust me Slayer he will believe and when you come to me I will finish breaking what ever spirit you have left. You will be a good slave. Mark my words slut you will be." Spike gets off the ground and does up his pants.  
  
Neither of them notices the Dawn who was able to hear what was said from both of them. She has been following Faith around for awhile and is glad to not have been spotted yet. She knows what she must do but not sure if it what she should do. Faith saved her from being killed to open a portal. Xander has saved her on many occasions also. She made her choice and ran after Faith. She was able to catch up with her before she got out of the cemetery. "Faith." She yelled.  
  
"What," Faith spun around to see Dawn just staring at her, "Baby D. should you be in bed right now?"  
  
"Probably but you shouldn't be having sex with Spike either. I ignore one you ignore the other." Dawn said with a straight face and a demeaning tone.  
  
Faith was taken back by the statement, "You don't know what you are talking about. I would never touch Spike like that. If you are doing this to ruin my relationship with Lex it won't work. He knows I would never and that is all that matters." She turns around and walks away from her.  
  
"Would video or pictures prove it to him? I can make a website out of the stuff if you want. Give him the address www.spikeandfaithhavingsex.com and see all he wants. What do you want to do about it now?"  
  
Faith had tears in her eyes "Please no, it is over and I need to have Lex back. It is so empty in life with out him. Spike was using me playing with my emotions. I finally stopped it and can get past it."  
  
Dawn just looks at Faith with disbelief. "You are a very sad person Faith. You wallow in self pity about leaving heaven and being back here. Instead of talking to us you sleep with Spike. After everything that happened with Buffy and Lex over Angle you do it and make it worse by begging for it. I have seen enough. You could have asked for help from one of us. You could have told Buffy and she would have at least dusted Spike to remove the temptation. He might have used you the first time the second time it became the way you wanted. Get help Faith, Lex won't be able to solve this problem. You won't like what happens when he finds out especially if you lie to him about it." Dawn turns around a walks away from her.  
  
Faith watches her walk away. She knows Lex would leave her if she found out about it and she knows there is nothing she can do to stop it from happening. She runs after Dawn in hope that a solution will come that will help her. 


	9. Abandonment 2 of

Chapter 2  
  
SunnyDale~  
Xander, Vicky, and Giles pull in to town late in the afternoon. They head to the Magic Box to meet with everyone. They find Tara, Willow, and Buffy in the shop. Willow is behind the counter working the cash drawer while Buffy and Tara are sitting at the table reading demon books. They look up to see who entered the shop and all have smiles across their faces.  
  
"Lex your back," came the shout from the read head.  
  
"Bout time you got here. Most of us are on pins and needles here. So is that the new Slayer?" Giles and Xander both nod to her. "Hey Vicky I am Buffy and welcome to the Hellmouth. It is nice to have you here even if it isn't one of the safest place for us."  
  
"L-l-lex it is great to see you again. I am glad you are back."  
  
Xander turns to Giles, "You didn't tell them. With all your watchery ways I though you would have told them. Sneaky watcher."  
  
"Sorry but it is your story to tell. I just said you and Vicky were coming back and we should be there in a few days."  
  
"Well Xander are you going to tell them or just stand there with that smirk?"  
  
The three girls look from Vicky to Lex.  
  
"It is Xander again. I don't have the power of the Hyena anymore. I still have some kicked up senses but the strength is gone from me. So like where is the rest of the Scoobys?"  
  
"But we saw with Glory. You have to have the power then to do that. How can you not have it?"  
  
Xander's eyes shifter from brown to amber. "He doesn't but I do. My name is Alpha. I would be the Hyena spirit given awareness. I know everything he knows but I am separate from him. He picked up the knife but I killed Glory. He went to the Zoo but I came back from it. Faith's death triggered something in us and separated the personas. Laughable Xander and Alpha," the eyes shift back to brown, "Wicked I know. Took some time to get use to it. So about everyone else."  
  
Just then the door to the Magic box open and in walked Amy. She looked to Xander and ran to him giving a hug. "It s great to have you back. Faith talks about you all the time and she was so lonely while you were gone."  
  
"Thanks Amy. Sorry I didn't drop by my last time in town but it wasn't a good time for us all."  
  
"Don't worry about it." She lets go of the hug and goes to the counter. "If you want Willow I will take over from her and the others can go hang out."  
  
"Thanks Amy. We can all go to Giles place then from there we can head up to the Bronze later to hang out." With that they all left and talked about the past few months with adventures and the bringing back Faith. Later at Giles, Xander gets Willow to talk outside with him for a bit.  
  
"So Xander what do.." The smack across the face was unexpected. It wasn't hard enough to knocked her down but she could feel the heat from the strike and look at Xander and saw angry brown/amber eyes as if they were fighting for control. The amber won out.  
  
"What do you think you are doing? She died, our mate was dead and you pull her out of the ground for no reason what so ever. My god Willow you are not god and she didn't need to be resurrected. Damn it Willow this is why you have to be careful what you do with your power. Why Willow, what in all that is reasonable made you think to bring her back."  
  
"You left us again. You left and you weren't coming back. I could feel your pain while you walked away that night. It hurt me so much. We had to do something and she isn't a zombie or anything. She is perfectly normal. She is just depressed missing you. We asked her and she keeps telling us she can't remember were she was. She remembers the tower and Doc but that is it." Tears fall down her cheeks.  
  
The brown returns to his eye "I am sorry Willow. You shouldn't have done it to her. I spent months getting over her and maybe moving on. To find out she wasn't dead the entire time but stolen from her final rest. We swore to each other that if we were ever turned we would not let the other one run around. We would stake them as soon as they got out of the grave. No curses no anything. Just a quick death to end it. I hope you know what you have done." Xander then pulls Willow in to a hug and holds her while she cries. They clean themselves up and head back in to the house.  
  
"... and then when I turn around my towel falls off and I shut the door quickly. Xander practically ran out the room after that." All the girls and Giles are now laughing at the story.  
  
"This coming from the girl that gets clothes ripped off by zombies. Beside I had to get the lounge to start my day. I could have stayed." Xander tries to defend him self weakly.  
  
"You keep telling your self that Suga. You might actually believe it. So we going head to this Bronze place soon?"  
  
"Yeah I guess we can." They head towards the door when Xander stops and looks towards it waiting for something to happen. The door slowly opens to reveal Faith in her normal sexy attire.  
  
"Xander your back. Amy told me you guys were here and.." The rest was cut off as Xander ran forward and pulled her in for a big hug.  
  
"I missed you so much, I didn't know you were back. I sorry. I love you so much. I." Xander stops and looks down at Faith as she smiles back up to him. His eyes shift to amber as a stern gaze falls across his face. Everyone can sense the mood change in the room but are unsure what is going on. Alpha turns back to the group, "Faith and I are going to have to postpone this get together tonight. Buffy you mine if we head back to your house for now. We have some things to discuss with his mate."  
  
It was Vicky that was taken back by the comment. No one has spent the time with him that she has an understanding something is not good and she is worried about it.  
  
"Sure Xan. Alpha ,sorry, just make sure Dawn isn't home if you guys start anything. We will call before we head back."  
  
Alpha and Faith walk out of the house. His eyes haven't shifted back to brown. Faith is starting to get worried. She has never seen this out of Xander.  
  
"Xander what's going on."  
  
Alpha turns his head towards Faith with a glare that cause the temp to fall. "My name is Alpha. Right now your Xander s trying to understand what is going on. I know what is and I am taking care of it. He needs some more time. But don't worry I am sure he will get his act together." The walk the rest of the way to Buffy's in silence. Faith is scared that Alpha and Xander know something. They couldn't have found out this fast. They haven't even had a chance to run in to Spike. She knows Dawn doesn't have the chance to talk to him. Buffy's house appears in the distance as they make their way towards it. Soon they are on the porch and Faith unlocks the door and they both enter with Alpha shutting the door hard. Faith turns to him and watches in fascination as his eyes change from amber to the brown color she has loved for years.  
  
"Care to tell me how long it has been gong on?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"DO YOU CARE TO TELL ME HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN GOING ON?" he screams.  
  
Faith backs away from him. He never yelled at her before with this much anger in his voice. "X this can't be what it seems. Can you tell me what you are talking about?" She hopes it doesn't involve Spike.  
  
"Why do you smell like Spike and Sex. One or the other I could understand. Both lead me to one conclusion and after discussing it with Alpha on the way here I won't kill you yet if there is a reason good enough to be FUCKING him. I know we talked long about Buffy and Angle and right now I am not liking what has become of you."  
  
Faith just stares at him as her hopes come crashing down on her. "It hurts to be here. I was happy I was content I had my child with me. She was so beautiful. I remember it so well. God Xan it is hell here. Just knowing what I lost. I felt something with him. It wasn't great and it is over but it was something. I came back empty and you weren't here. He said you left me and weren't coming back. I needed you here. I shouldn't have slept with him but I (smack).." Faith was knocked to the ground.  
  
Xander stood over her looking down on her with disgust and anger, "I shouldn't hit you but right now I am at a lost of what to do. I am going out. Pray I don't find out anything else about you. When I calm down we are going to have a long talk. You better be able to face the group because they will find out all of it." He turns around and walks out of the house. Faith lays on the ground a defeated soul. She cries for her lose. And for a fleeting moment feels something. She feels her heart breaks as Xander walks away. 


	10. Abandonment 3 of

Chapter 3  
  
Spike is sitting at the bar ordering a drink. Assorted demons and vampires are through out the bar. "How about some baboon and a shot of bourbon to wash it down."  
  
"Coming right up Spike," Willy says as he gets out the blood. It is the front door being kicked off their hinges and flying inwards that startles everyone. The look to the door way and there stands one lone figure. A human with dark hair but almost glowing amber eyes.  
  
"Humans out now, the rest of you are already dead." Comes the cold voice of the human.  
  
Spike already knows how it is but isn't to worried. "Guess the whelp is going to die before I get my chance to torment him about his girl."  
  
As the humans run out a human size demon with a coat of gray fur stands up, "Leave us human. You can't kill us all. If you can even get one I would be surprised."  
  
Alpha turns to the demon, "My name is Xander Harris. I am known as the Hunter among many demons. I have come to kill you all." He rushes forward and grabs a lizard like demon with spike on its head and twists its neck till it breaks with a loud crack. The demons stare on and some rush towards him. A battle of Alpha and Demon begin. Alpha is unable to keep up with all the different demons that are attacking. He knows he has broken a few arms so far but it seems the bar is over their fear and is going full force. A pogera demon sticks him through the shoulder. He feels some claws scratch across his chest and back. A big gray demon with black horns and green glowing eyes is able to land a solid punch in his chest which knocks him back into a wall. He stands up when he feels a shooting pain in his other shoulder and sees a spike has been drive through him shoulder nailing him to the wall. The demons move closer to finish him off.  
  
"Enough," yells a red scaled demon. "I know of you Hunter and your Slayer. I was there when we ambushed you. I guess you are nothing with out your Slayer, right boys." General laugher can be heard through Willy's. "Don't worry I am sure we will comfort her when she hears of your passing. Spike will be willing to whore her out to us so we can stake her good like so must have been needing since being with you." While the demon speaks Alpha's eyes grow brighter. "You want to know something else about the slut," the demon leans in real close to Alphas and whispers in his ear. It is at the moment his eyes open wide and then roll in to the back of his head. "Well boys I guess he was just too weak to do anything. Kill him and let's get going."  
  
The demon that had him pinned pulls his arm back and gets ready to stab its spike through his heart when Alpha's arm shoots up and grabs the spike. His eyes open to reveal a bright glowing red. The demon look on as he twists his hand breaking the spike then showing it back through the demons skull. The red scaled demon knows what is going on and tries to get out of there. The Hunter stands up and the sound of ripping clothing can be heard as his arms, chest, and back swell with muscle. He grows a foot taller and his nails darken and extend from his hands forming claws. His mouth starts to extend out as his canines increase. The demons look in horror as what he has become. A few attack him while others try to get out. The Hunter starts killing in droves. Demons that had the upper hand minutes ago are now losing arms. The Hunter shoves both hands in to the chest of a Feral demon and rips it open blood splashing everywhere. The fight turns to a slaughter as a few demons make it away from him. The Hunter looks around as the last demon dies and gives out a mighty roar. He sniffs the air and finds a blond vampire trying to sneak out the door from behind the bar. The Hunter launches himself towards him and picks him off the ground.  
  
"Wait a minute Lex. I don't know what you heard but it isn't true. I would never touch your girl." Spike stammers out to him.  
  
The Hunter pulls Spike in close and stares at him in the eyes. "You smell like her vampire. I have already talked to her and she told me that you two having been screwing."  
  
The look of terror spreads across Spike's face. He knows that there is no walking away from this. "So you going to kill me like this. All defenseless against you. Not very sporting there. I can leave this town and never come back."  
  
"Vampire you are wasting your time I am not going to kill you now but something more fitting should be done." After that is said he starts to tighten the hold on Spikes right shoulder. You can hear the shoulder crack on the pressure as Spike screams. The shoulder is completely destroyed and then The Hunter rips the arm out of the crushed socket. The howl of pain coming from Spike can be heard down the road. The Hunter smirks through long fangs, "Well Spike that is a good start. What else can I do? I know." The Hunter then lifts Spike up higher and grabs hold of his right hip. Before the Hunter starts he sniffs the air a few times and turns towards the door. "You might want to look away Vic. This isn't going to be pleasant to watch."  
  
"Put him down Xander. You have done enough. Come back with me. We can get a place for the night and you can tell me what is going on."  
  
"Can't do that yet. He needs to be tough a lesson about ownership and punishment for taking things that aren't his."  
  
"You are doing this for the slut." Vicky says very loudly to make sure he heard her correctly.  
  
Spike is thrown through the wall out on to the street as The Hunter turns towards Vicky. "If you want to live you won't say things like that to me."  
  
"You leave because she died. She came back and started sleeping with him. I can say it all I want. It is the truth Xander. She is a cheap slut that doesn't deserve what you are doing to try and clean up her image."  
  
The Hunter raced forward roaring and grabs Vicky by the shoulders. Vicky shows no sign of fear. He can't even smell it off her. She is just standing there. "I could kill you right now and walk away. I could find Spike and finish what I started."  
  
"You could but then you wouldn't be the Xander I know and care about. I said I would never be afraid of you while you were alive. I can hear your heart beating so you can put me down and change back or not but you are no going to do anything to Spike."  
  
Red eyes meet green. The Hunter's eyes are filled with rage and anger. Vicky's are filled with love and concern. The Hunter puts Vicky down as he starts to turn back to normal. His body shrinks down as his fangs and claws recede. His eyes change from bright red, to dark red, and then brown. He looks at her and falls on the floor from exhaustion.  
  
"Come on Xan it is time to get to bed." She lifts him up and together they walk out of the destroyed bar and head back towards a motel for the night. Xander takes a shower to wash off the blood and goes to sleep on the floor. "Not tonight Suga. Just sleep in the bed with me. No funny business or anything just the comfort of having someone next to them." Xander just nods his head and crawls into bed with her and goes off to sleep. With morning will come a time for questions.  
  
Xander manages to wake up around noon. He looks and sees a pile of clothes for him with a note. 'Xan I am actually getting lunch. You usually are the first one up. When you wake up get dressed and come on down. Vic'. He just smiles and starts to get dressed. He heads to lounge and there she is sitting at a booth with a soda and a coffee waiting for him.  
  
"About time Suga, I don't like waiting. You can't make it here but certain times and I will eat with out you. So want do you want?"  
  
"You aren't going to make me talk about it?"  
  
"No. I don't really want to know. I did what I wanted to do. I got you back to normal and stopped you from destroying yourself. Spike will be suffering enough after all this. Before this gets any further I hit Faith a couple times last night before I went looking for you."  
  
Xander just stares at her. He smiles a little, "I think she earned it. Don't worry we are going to talk later tonight. I have to talk to her about everything."  
  
"No problem Xan. Lets get lunch and you can talk to her later." They get a server over to them and place orders.  
  
Xander then turns to Vicky, "How did you do it? How were you able to stand up to me and not have any fear? What is your secret?"  
  
"For another time Suga. After all this is over ask me again." 


	11. Abandonment 4 of

Chapter 4  
  
After lunch Xander and Vicky head to the mall to relax for a bit. They casually walk around the shops and pick up some clothes to replace their diminished stock.  
  
"Trust me Xan some tight leather pants hugging you ass would look great."  
  
"No thanks Vic I am just going to stick to the nice cotton kind. I see the leather and I think of Deadboy. And I don't want to think of him hugging my ass."  
  
Vic smirks at Xander and smiles, "You could also think it was me and be all the better."  
  
Xander turns to Vic with his grin, "You buy a push up and image it is me holding them and I will think about it."  
  
Vicky just stares at him with a shock look on her face before she recovers, "How do you know I don't already?"  
  
Xander stutters and just looks away. Vicky continues to walk pushing her chest out a little with the smile of the cat that got the canary.  
  
"You win Vic. No more talk of clothing and hugging. We can finish up her and then go back to The Magic Box to meet with the group and talk to Faith."  
  
Vicky frowns a little but is understanding that it has to be done. She can still hope for her own happy ending. "One more stop at V.S. and we are golden."  
  
"V.S. where is that in this place. It doesn't sound familiar."  
  
"The mall map says it is around the corner and to the left."  
  
"But the only thing down there is," a scared look comes over his face, "no Vic not there. Please. You can't make me go in there. I don't go in there for anyone. Men do not belong in that store. Trust me we get looked at funny and pray to god no one walks out of a changing room. You wouldn't make me."  
  
"You owe me Suga. After what I did last night. And besides you're a guy and would know what I would look good in." Vicky say to him with a smile which quickly turns to a pout, "please Xan. If you don't I might not look pretty enough for the college boys and I can't have that."  
  
Xander look at her and already knew he lost this one. "Fine but if I get one strange look I am outta here. No force on Earth could stop me. Not even you Slayer."  
  
"If you say so Suga," Vicky then wraps his arm in hers and together the walk through the archway of Victoria Secret. Her smile never left her face through out the store as she picked out a few things her and there and model two push ups for Xander which he quickly left the store and waited outside. She laughs all the way to the register to pay for her clothes.  
  
"Your boyfriend going to be okay?" said the clerk.  
  
Vicky was going to correct but didn't, "You know men. Talk all big and bad about what would you look good in but bring them in and show a few ideas and they run for the hills. Or at least away from them." Vicky and the clerk just laugh together about the short coming of men.  
  
Tara walked up behind the laughing Slayer, "Vicky how is it going?"  
  
Vicky turned around and smiled to Tara, "Just find actually. Had to bring Xander home from the bar last night. You know men. You let them out for a late night with their friends and they wreck a bar and stupid people get hurt. He was find just needed some TLC this morning. He got it in spades. Of course he wont be going out for a while." With that she started laughing and the clerk joined in for that one also.  
  
"You got that right miss," the clerk said in between laughs.  
  
Tara just looks at the two and chuckles a little. "Willow and I are shopping here for a few things and I saw you and wanted to know about Xander. I guess you two are going to be back to the Magic Shop later."  
  
"Yeah Tara we will. He needs to talk about a few things and such. You know guy things."  
  
"Not really but sounds good. Well I got some things to try on and get Willow. Later Vicky."  
  
"Later Tara," Vicky says with a way to her new friend.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to be talking about a Xander Harris would you?"  
  
"Yeah why do you ask?"  
  
"He saved me a few years ago from a real monster. And I just wanted to thank him for it. Could you two stick around for a bit? I have a break coming up in 15 minutes and I would like to talk to him."  
  
"Sure we can go down to the food court and get some eats. That good enough?"  
  
"That will be great. Thank you very much. It means a lot to me."  
  
"No problems, Xander could probably use the thanks. We don't get it too often."  
  
"You just made an old woman's heart."  
  
"Not a problem," Vicky pauses as she looks at the woman's name tag, "Rachel. Well I got to go or he might venture off on his own. They can't keep still."  
  
Vicky finishes paying for her items and leaves. While Rachel watches her walk away a small tear forms in her eye, "I though I knew him better then anyone." She wipes her eyes and starts getting the area ready to head to break as soon as possible.  
  
Vicky meets up with Xander on a bench facing away from Victoria Secret. She sits down next to him and throws an arm around him. "You okay Suga, the big meanie bras scare you that bad?" she asks in a tone reserved for scared children.  
  
Xander turns to her and looks her up and down, "They weren't that big Vic," he replies with a laugh and a smile.  
  
She removes her arm and smacks him in the shoulder as he laughs out loud. "Let's get some food. I just met a woman that you saved and wants to thank you. So, Mr. Hero lets get some food."  
  
"Okay Vic." They both stand up and make their way to the food court for mall food. They chose a place to sit and ate. Vicky saw Rachel head towards them and just continued eating and chatting with Xander till she was just a few steps away.  
  
"Hello Alexander," Was all she said.  
  
Some color from Xander's face drained away as he heard the words said to him. He stands quickly turning around to see the person. He hasn't seen her in years and is certain it is still too soon for him. Vicky just stares' trying to understand what is happening and if she is at fault for not telling him more.  
  
Xander regains some composure which sets off a chill in Vicky. "Mrs. Harris how are you this fine day." The words were nice but the tone cold enough to stop a lava flow.  
  
"Xander you okay?"  
  
"Just fine Vicky. Just saying hi to someone I haven't seen or wanted to see in years."  
  
Rachel was taken back and could feel her heart start to break again. "Alexander you don't have to be this way. I left him like you said. I got a divorce and cleaned up. You said that before you left you wanted that. I have worked so hard to do it. I though you and I could be together again. Like a family should. It has been so long and so lonely. Please Alexander." Rachel is on the verge of tears.  
  
Xander stares at her indifferent to what she says. "Maybe Mrs. Harris but that was too long ago. My family died years ago. My parents are dead. I was eight when it happened. He hit me while he was drunk and she didn't try and stop him. It was just a bad day for all. Good bye Mrs. Harris." He turned around and walked away from the two women.  
  
Vicky called to him but he kept walking away. She turned to the women with some concern and a little anger. Something was going on around her and with what little she knew was not about to act on it. "You care to tell me what is going? I have seen him do many things but this coldness is very new but I guess it is actually very old just not shown often."  
  
Rachel sat down where Xander was sitting and wiped her eyes. "I was 22 when he was born. Just married to what I thought was a great man. I don't know when or how it happened but he started drinking. Then it continued to get worse. By the time I was 26 he was a full blown alcoholic. I guess to a four year old it would have been the normal thing. Having no memory of him before that time. At 27 I started to join him in drinking. By 30 I was close but never fully bad. I know I was drunk most nights. Then it happened, Alexander was beginning to understand normal families aren't like this. They don't treat each other this way. It is his 8th Christmas. My god I have been drunk for 3 years now. He wanted an Optimus Prime toy. That was it for his list. One item for a holiday where kids asks for hundreds of things he wanted just one. He told me and his dad about wanting it for weeks. Two nights before Christmas he asked his father if Santa would really bring it to him like his friend Jessie said. His dad just back handed and said something to him. I don't remember what it was. I just watched from the couch. My only child was just hit and I was getting up to get another drink. He looked to me thinking I was coming to save him and just walked by to the kitchen. Oh god," she clasps her hands to her face and cries. It took her a couple of minutes but she was able to bring herself partly together. "Two very important things happened that day. He spent the next decade sleeping outside for Christmas and never asked us for anything ever again. Anthony never stopped hitting him. I heard it at night, on weekends, and in the mornings. It seemed Alexander couldn't get away from it. He has condemned us both for it. Sometime around when he was 17 he walked out after a pretty vicious beating over being late or something. He came back a week later and told me if I wanted to be a family to leave with him now and clean up. I just laugh at him. Told him what he could do and watched him turn around and walk to the door. He opened and turned to me. There was so much pain in his eyes. And then he said the most horrible thing to me I think I ever heard 'Goodbye Mrs. Harris, I won't miss you' and he walked out closing the door. A year later it finally hit home what has happen to me. I left Anthony and got a divorced. I went in to groups and meetings. I cleaned up and I am doing well for myself. Not the greatest but better. I am the manager at Victoria Secret now and have a nice apartment for two. I looked for him all over after I head about his graduation. His friend Willow told me he left town and might not ever be coming back."  
  
Vicky stares at Rachel. She didn't know what to do. She just watched as Rachel cried for her lose.  
  
"Why would Santa bring toys to a bastard like you? That is what he said to me."  
  
Both women spin around to see Xander standing there emotionless and expressionless. Just staring at them. "Vicky it is time to go. I wouldn't want Mrs. Harris to set a bad style by being late for her job. Being a manager and all. Someone to look up to and ask for help. Maybe protection from unruly customers they can't protect themselves from. You couldn't do it for flesh and blood. Maybe for strangers you can do it for. Come on Vicky I don't leave my family behind."  
  
"Xander I think." she was cut off with a hard glare from Xander.  
  
"Don't Victoria. Don't ever get involved in this. That woman will never be in the right. She had here chance and through it away. I owe her nothing and want nothing from here. She had a very basic thing to do about her child. She failed and can't make it up." He turns to Rachel. "I buried my parents years ago. I suggest you do the same to your son." He turns and walked off.  
  
Vicky looked to Rachel, "I am sorry Rachel I didn't even know about any of this. He never mentioned a family here other then his friends. I never asked him. I can't do much about it but I will try something. You shouldn't expect anything from it though. He could be right about the family thing."  
  
"I won't give up on it. I did over a decade ago and I can't do it again. I was so lucky to have him. He was a one in a million chance. He was my beautiful baby boy. So happy and carefree. I through it away for a bottle. He is almost nothing like his father. My son is walking away from me now but someday he might walk towards me with a smile."  
  
Vicky nodded to her and walked off to catch up with Xander. She met him by the truck and the both got in and drove off. Vicky turned to Xander and opened her mouth to talk, "Xan."  
  
"Don't Vicky I told you not to get involved and I am serious. Not in this."  
  
"Okay Xan."  
  
They drove off to the Magic Box. In silence. 


End file.
